My Mom the EMR and a Piece of Rebar

Went back to Byemoor for the local Fair and ball tournament. My family team was entered in the 30+ team tournament. Always a good time to be had when drinkin' whiskey and playing ball with dad and my sisters. I feel sorry for people who don't have a family like mine.

Anyways, showed up on Friday but didn't play till 9:00am saturday. My sister and I settled down and started drinking some Royal Reserve while we waited for nightfall to head to the bar. End up over-shooting our mark and by 10:00pm I'm dancing to Irene Cara - Oh What a Feeling and my sister is rolling around on the exercise ball we found in the basement.Head to the bar and whoop it up. Shuffle out like zombies.

Saturday was a good day. Went to the ball dance and ended up meeting this amazing girl. Absolutely the cutest thing. Great personality too. Usually good looks are like radiation, does something to the mind. Attractive, and they're crazy as a bat. Rare find to someone who can withstand the radiation. I was nervous about going over to talk to her. Yes, me nervous. I wasn't going to talk to her until I realized that while I was looking at her from across the room that I'd smile everytime she did.

Drank enough rye to stun a harse and finally went over and we really hit it off. I felt like a big dork, but it was great. It's been quite awhile since I had met a girl that I was nervous talking to.

Anyways, the dance ended way too soon and I had to say goodbye. I'm hoping to see her again (and soon!). So I scamper off to the campgrounds on cloud 9. Then I drank too much booze ......

Get to the campground and settle into a lawnchair with the rest of the crowd around the fire. My good friend Miss Katie was there and she mixes really good drinks. One drink of hers can put you on the floor. Anyways, she offers me a drink and I tell her to "mix it like she hates me"....

Soon I'm sitting on Miss Katie's lap smelling her hair slurring out the words "wow, what kind of shampoo do you use?". I then get back to my lawnchair, and another lady friend gets pushed into my lawnchair and flops on top of me. I decide to hold her like a baby and sing her lullibyes .... like Johnny Cash - Burning Ring of Fire.

A large amount of time passes that I can't completely account for.

Burning out at about 4:00 in the morning I start shuffling home, singing The Littlest Hobo theme song. This is when I turn around and discover a huge crowd of people with police cars, fire trucks and ambulances. I quietly wonder how I didn't notice this before. Discover that a buddy had been hit in the head with a piece of re-bar while trying to scrap with some guy.

My mom, whose an EMR is on the scene treating him. Finally they load him up into the ambulance and my mom gets up and start packing her equipment - this is when she sees me in the crowd waving like crazy yelling "Hi mom!". As the police are loading up to leave too, mom comes over .....

Me: "hey mom, I'm glad you are here."
mom: "oh Kent, he'll be alright - I just made sure he was comfortable and that his vitals were fine."
Me: "huh? .... oh .... that's not what I meant - I need a ride home"

So I helped mom pack up the rest of her stuff and slumped over in the car while we headed to the fire house and home.