Chipmunk Coat and Sleeping in the Trees

So the weekend in Lethbridge was a roller coaster.

The Associate and I arrived late and missed the house party that we were hoping to catch. This was a major set-back as the party was where all the female hockey players were. Huge blow as my sister had phoned and said that all the girls were riled up.

We couldn't get into the nearby bar because the line was so long. We tried waiting, but we're not very good at that and headed to another bar. By now, the group is scattered to the winds due to these extenuating circumstances.

So we head to another bar, when they ask for my id, I present my www.ryeandcoke.com Press Pass to the bouncer. He asks what the hell is this, laughs, then hands it to the other bouncer. The other bouncer looks at me, pins it on me and says that if he doesn't see me wearing it he'll cut me off. I continue in and pay the cover. The bouncer at the cover-charge booth laughs at my pass and asks what the hell is it and if I'm from Irag. I point my finger at him and tell him that it's a security pass, ask where his is, and claim that HE is from Iraq.

So my sister, Pool Boy, The Associate, Quinn and I start packing away double ryes (drinks are $1). Pool Boy has been drinking for about 12 hours now, Quinn is not far behind. Pool boy fades and has to abort mission - so they head off and it's just me and the Associate.

A few more double ryes later, we decide to head home ourselves. We head out of the bar and try to find a cab. This is where a night really begins ....

1:30am
We head out into the streets not really sure where we should be walking. We phone a cab, but the lady says the wait will be half an hour. So we cancel it and decide to walk, how big is lethbridge anyways? First we try to find a back alley so The Associate can pee. This proves to be a challenge as there is not alot of safe and private areas in downton Lethbridge to pee. We finally find a suitable area and start our journey.

To get our bearings, the Associate asks if I know much about the moon. I say I don't. He says that he thought it followed the same path of the sun, so that way was West and we were going south. We went with this for about 15 minutes. This proved to be false and turned around so we were actually going south.

1:45am
We walk thru a park and I suggest that we sleep in the trees. We'll use our belts to harness ourselves to the trees and we'll befriend the chipmunks. The chipmunks will gather around us and keep us warm. I then get this great idea that I'll train the chipmunks to gather on me and look like a fur coat. I'd then get a cane with a glass hawk and strut into the bar. Then if anyone gives me trouble, I'll call on the chipmunks to disperse and attack and I'd laugh and say "ha HA! you thought I was just wearing a fur coat! Attack chipmunks!!". The associate liked this idea.

2:00am
The Associate finds a broom stick with a strap along the side of the road. He picks it up and starts using it as a walking stick. We still have a long journey ahead of us.

2:47am
The Associate likes the lights of the town, so wants to start climbing some steep hills beside the road so we can see them better. So we start climbing and quickly realize that the hills are covered with cacti. I'm tickled by the word "cacti" and use it whenever I can. We come to a fence, but it's really difficult to see where the wires are. The Associate bravely waves his walking stick in an effort to locate the wires. I cower behind him. We find that the wires are down, so the Associate uses the walking stick to lay down the wires further so we can pass. We accidently break the broom stick in this process.

We look at the pieces and decide that we now have a spear and a billy club. The Associate elects for the spear and I take the billy club.

3:15am
By now we've travelled back into civilization. After a couple cars drive by, The Associate decides to relent his spear. I'm unwilling to give up my billy club, but decide to conceal it in my pants.

3:33am
We finally arrive at our destination, The Associate and I are hungry now and almost decide to take a cab back into downtown. But we decide that after 2 hours of walking, we should really just call it a night. We crash in the living room. The Associate lies face-first into a bean bag chair and I grab a huge circular cushion from a weird wicker chair and flop on the floor. I get the giggles and show The Associate my turtle impression by crawling on my hands and knees with the cushion on my back. I settle back down and then get the giggles again. Show The Associate my impression of a taco by wrapping the cushion round me. I say in my taco voice "I'm a taco" and gigle some more. Finally say good night to the Associate.

4:00am
Realize that I'm not sleeping tonight, the living room is freezing and my turtle shell provides no shelter. I try to taco it, but the cushion keeps flipping off me. The Associate is also having difficulties on the bean bag chair. We suffer in silence.

Too bad the ladies weren't out and about - I even posted a warning for their safety