Honey! I'm Home!

Return of the Mack

How long does it take to turn me into a baby killer? 43 minutes.

On one of my lights home, after 20+ hours of travelling, I get on a flight with a young toddler. Who towards the end of the flight - decided to start screaming. And I'm not talking crying or whimpering - just full-on screaming. For 43 fucking minutes. By the end, the kid's voice was getting hoarse. It stopped once .... to take two breaths, instead of one, between screaming fits. By the end I was having fanatasies about covering it's mouth until it past out. Or shoving the mom's tit in it's mouth and let it suffocate on that.

Surprisingly, this left me in a bad mood. And soon everyone was on my nerves. Especially the over-eager businessmen who thought getting off the plane was really fucking important. One guy, in his black leather loafers, was almost crawling up my back to somehow hurry the line getting off the plane. Buddy! I know you worked hard on your PowerPoint presentation, and it's great how you have the test slide in from the right for your bulleted lists, But I will fucking smash your face with your laptop bag - and ruin all your hard work if you step on the back of my heels again.

And all you business-casual fuckers with your mini-rolling luggage bags, I wish your luggage wheels had spokes. Cuz then I would go to the gift shop, buy the ridiculously large touristy pencils and CRAM it into your spokes everytime one of you fuckers burry by to gain one step ahead in line, cutting me off with your fucking little purse rolling behind you.

And I want a microwave gun. Or something of that nature. So I could MELT every cellphone to the user's ear that decides to natter and hyhena laugh beside me.

But all in all, it was a dandy trip home. Hugs and kisses.

On a sad note, had to say goodbye to my girlfriend Charly. We discussed it and agreed that things would end with us once I left. A long distance relationship for 8 months is something we both didn't want to endure. So we ended well, and now I have a good friend (that I hope has a blast for the rest of her trip!).

So warmest wishes Charly, and thank you.