Grandma's Pub Crawl

Went back to home for Thanksgiving. Grandma was having people over for a turkey supper.

Arrived and Grandma K greeted me at the door. She hugged me with rye breath, snuck in an ass grab, and cackled she was happy to see me. She then told me to go get a drink from the bar. (She has her own bar set up in her place).

This is the grandma that one time when I was over said she had something for me. She shuffled off into her room, and I was expecting to get a cheesy swan candy dish or something from the early 70's. Grandmas can give you some pretty shitty stuff. But she came out and I saw it was a t-shirt. I unfolded it, and to my surpise the t-shirt said Canadian Club Whiskey on the front.
"Grandma, thanks! where'd you get this t-shirt?"
"I won it on a pub crawl"
"....."

I was going to ask her how she won it, but decided I really didn't want to know. But Christ! my grandma has been on more pub crawls than I have. She's cool - like a female ozzy osbourne.

Back to thanksgiving, dinner went well. When I was dishing up, I was about to put salad dressing on my salad until I saw the expiry date was back in 2001. Grandma doesn't like to throw away things.

My cousin was out of jail, so he was able to join us for thanksgiving too.

Grandma K was pretty smashed, so the grand kids washed the dishes and put away the food. Both grandmas tried to help us by supervising - which ended up being pretty funny.

Erin: "hey Grandma K, where do you want this stuff?"
Grandma K: "...... that's a god damn good question ...... I don't know what to do with this shit"

Grandma M: "that salad won't fit in that container"
Erin: "I think it will grandma"
Grandma M: "no. It won't"
Erin: "oh I think it will"
Grandma M: "nope."
Erin: "I betcha it will"
Grandma M: "Well, it won't - and you're going to eat all the salad that doesn't fit"
Erin: "Fine." (crams all the salad into the container)
Erin: (crams cucumber slices on top of salad and squeezes the lid on)
Erin: "There! the cucumber slices even fit!"
Grandma M: (leaves)