I want to be like Van Damme. I like to tell people he's my best friend that doesn't know me yet. I think he'd like me a lot and we'd have fun talking about his movies.
Run (3.2km) Crunches (1min) Squats (15lbs) Pushups Bridge Stairs (1min) Wall Squat Ab Lift
20min 36 20 20 72 sec 7 flights 50 sec 37sec

Workout 1 - Arms and Chest

  • 16 laps (3.2km) run
  • 3 sets of 30 crunches
  • 3 sets of 30s bridge
  • 3 sets of 10 alternating reverse curls / alternating hammer curls
  • 3 sets of 10 alternating dumbell curls / bar curls
  • 3 sets of 20 wrist curls
  • 3 sets of 10 triceps extensions
  • 3 sets of 10 triceps pulldowns
  • 3 sets of 10 bench presses
  • 3 sets of 10 inclined flies

Workout 2 - Legs

  • 10 laps swim (front crawl, butterflies)
  • 3 sets of 30 crunches
  • 3 sets of 30s bridge
  • 3 sets of 10 leg presses/squats
  • 3 sets of 10 leg extensions
  • 3 sets of 10 shoulder presses
  • 3 sets of 10 alternate shoulder raises
  • 3 sets of 10 bench presses
  • 3 sets of 20 seated calf raises

Workout 3 - Back & Shoulders

  • 10 min Rowing machine
  • 3 sets of 30 crunches
  • 3 sets of 30s bridge
  • 3 sets of 10 shoulder presses
  • 3 sets of 10 alternate shoulder raises
  • 3 sets of 10 upright rows/dumbell single arm rows
  • 3 sets of 10 pull-ups
  • 3 sets of 10 cable single arm pull-down

Day 1

BACKDATE: Day 1 of the Hotness 50 I started out as hotness level 'Kermit'. Flaily, weak, sick looking.

Day 14

So far I have been going to the gym probably once every 3 days, which is not as frequent as I'd hoped. Last Thursday I purchased my month pass to the university gym and I plan on going to there every day after work. I've made some gains and currently my hotness level is that of 'Ewok'. Girls think they are kind of cute but would never sleep with one.

Day 17

I said hi to a girl.

Day 18

Went to the gym two days in a row. Im pretty proud of myself.
While I was looking at myself in the mirror last night I realized three things.

  1. I have skinny chicken legs.
  2. Lots of dorks hang out in the gym.
  3. Van Damme got to his level of hotness after years of hard work, perseverance, a healthy lifestyle and unyielding commitment to the martial arts. It is offensive for me to even think that I can come close to his hotness level in 50 days so I am going to modify my hotness meter. If you saw this Van Damme, I'm soooo sorry if I offended you and I hope we can still be friends someday.

Some dude pretending to be this chicks personal trainer was hogging both inclines last night. Then he laid there and talked about 'Ohhhh Ladies night at Cowboys' for 15 minutes so I skipped my abs.

Day 19

Three things ruined the gym for me tonight:

  1. The track was closed.
  2. Some "dude" kept asking me if I was done of the leg press machine. Go away meathead.
  3. A guy was wearing a Vote for Pedro t-shirt.

There was also a guy whos socks were so sweaty that he left sweat-foot prints all the way from the gym to the locker room. That was gross but kind of cool in a way.

LEVEL UP!: I was flexing in the mirror tonight and realized I reached a new level of hotness. Hotness level 'Rubble'. Even as a kid I had enough perspicacity of judgment to know Barney Rubble was a jackass. He's annoying. His personality sucks. He has a horrible goofy voice. He's not in shape at all because all he does is bowling. And he's short. So what makes that idiot so hot? Why Betty Rubble of course. There must be something good about that cartoon version of a human turd nugget if he bagged that ravenous little vixen.
ARTICLE COMMENTS (1)
11/8/2006 6:19:03 PM
Kyle

Betty was pretty hot. Always wanted her and Wilma to 'experiment' while the boys were out bowling.
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