Cougars Don't Like Ponies

Just to set up the scenario, I was in Carstairs at a small bar called "Barley" with a group of friends to enjoy a night of dollar high-balls. With our table full of highballs, I got on a rant about my little ponies.

Beside our table was a couple of disgracefully old cougars in torn jeans, 80's hair and leather jackets ....

<tap on shoulder>

Hey there, maybe you can help, remember My Little Ponies? Did they have special powers?

Pissy Cougar #2: What? Why are you wasting our time about this?

I wasn't talking to you, I was talking to your friend here.

Pissy Cougar #2: (to my friends) is this guy gay??

Come on, you remember the ponies ... they could ride rainbows and comb their hair ... but they HAD to have done more! They had a whole cartoon dedicated to them!

Pissy Cougar #1: ... You know, I have three sons that I could phone to get here. And they are all bigger than you.

(laughs) Lady, everyone in the bar is bigger than me, I don't think you'll need to phone your sons.

Pissy Cougar #1: ...

So, not much of a fan of the show eh?

Pissy Cougar #1: I have friends in the bar. I just have to call them over.

So what cartoons did you like to watch then?

Pissy Cougar #1: ...

oookay, well I used to watch sesame street, then mr.dressup, then the stupid prairie farm report would come on.

Pissy Couger #1: (wagging finger) Out of respect for your friends .... I'm just going to walk away

You could have just said you didn't know ...

---

Note: I just want to send my sympathies to Pissy Cougar #1, obviously your dad molested you while My Little Pony was playing in the background. Or perhaps you molested you with a My Little Pony Doll. Whatever the case, I'm sorry for stirring up those repressed memories and forcing you to lash out.

For Pissy Cougar #2, cheer up! Alot of people with Herpes live a very fulfilling life (although I'm assuming with STDs, you've probably collected the whole set). So don't be such a grumpy gus ;)