Kobi the Wrestler

Now, I'm not a fan of wrestling. But enough people around me do, so I've seen my fair share of wrestling. So while watching Final Judgement XXI or whatever it was called - I asked myself "If I was a wrestler, what would I be?". I'm sure everyone has to eventaully look deep within themselves and ask that question.

After much soul-searching I was able to come up with my persona. I'd call myself the Small Package. I'd borrow my mom's bathing suit and paint a magnifying glass on the crotch. I'd have to use some sort of washable fabric paints, cause I'm sure mom wouldn't want that on her bathing suit permanently.

As for my wrestling partner, his name would be Cheater Buddy. Cheater Buddy wouldn't wrestle, but would come to all my matches and help me win whenever the referee wasn't looking. Usually wrestling crowds don't like this kind of stuff, but since it's Cheater Buddy and Small Package, they'll cheer anyways.

Anyways, while walking down to the ring - I'd point to me crotch and ask if the competitor "wanted some of this" and then flex to the crowd. Then I'd grab the mic once I was in the ring and call out to the crowd that "Big things come in Small Packages". And then the crowd would cheer and I'd flex some more. Then Cheater Buddy would hand me some wet paper bags and I'd rip them for the crowd. I'd then kiss my biceps and let the match begin.

As for having a finishing move, I had a real issue picking one. The only one that could really work would be the move where I pull out a gun and tell the mother fucker to lie on the mat. But it lacks flair for the crowd. So I settled on a Titty-Twister until they tap out.

I haven't decided what would be my theme song.