Don't Kiss a Couger

After work got a call from Criminal Clay, asked if I wanted to head to Moxie's for some Moxie Moonshine. The real name is Big Life Amber, but the stuff somehow gets to you like a two-footed double dragon snap kick. So we head to Moxies for our one drink and I invited the Associate to come out as well...

3 pints and a jug later we get pretty rambunctious and the evening is starting to snowball. Decide to grab a 26 of rye and head to the apartment. Run into Whittles on the way there and call him into service. Dr. Je was home so he gets enlisted too.

Deciding that we all needed press passes for the weekend, we each patiently put on a tie and slick our hair back for our photos. We discuss what the pass should look like and how to pay for them to get lamenated. After all the Press Pass decisions were finalized, and the 26 was done, we head to the bar.

Being about four quarters sideways, I start talking to some girls. Find out the one I was talking to is actually 32 years old. Looks about 19 or 20. She had to come up with three alibis before I would believe it. One of her friends that is 33 tells me I have a nice smile. After some chit chat we head out on the dance floor. By the end of the dance, she has wrapped her legs around me and kissed me. I'm giggling and can't wait to tell the guys about this.

Meet back up with the Associate and we crash at the apartment. I barge into my roommates room and jump on the bed and tell him that I kissed a 33 year old. Suddenly my gut fkip-flops and I start paying for my sins ...

I sit in the bathroom and puke, and puke, and puke. I pause for a moment and realize I have to go to the bathroom as well. So I sit down and puke in the bathtub while I'm doing my business. I pause once more and think to myself "this kinda tastes like pepsi" and laugh. Then I starting puking again.

Don't know what happened after that, but I wake up at 5:00am and realize that I'm still in my bathroom. So I pull up my pants and head to bed. Work is gonna suck.

My advice to you. Don't kiss a 33 year-old, it makes you puke.