The Oracle and The Theory of Broken Attraction

To begin, ryeandcoke.com would like to introduce a new correspondent, the Oracle. She is a 25 year old woman who has been providing ryeandcoke.com with advice unofficially for a number of months. She is wise. And she conceded in offering insight on ryeandcoke's Theory of Broken Attraction ....

"Here's my theory - women like problems. They like to talk about problems, they like to talk about their problems, they like to talk about their friends problems. But they never talk about solutions - it's all about the problem itself. How it makes them feel, what it's doing to their life, and even get upset when you attempt to help them fix a problem. If a girl is complaining about an issue, she doesn't want to hear of ways to correct it. She wants sympathy and empathy about her problem. That is more important than the solution.

Same goes for most women's choice in men. They like the bad boy, they like the asshole, and apparently they like the guy that doesn't care. What all these have in common is that they are flawed. Some are built wrong, like the asshole and the bad boy, and some are broken. And broken sells.

Women seem to want someone they can fix or someone that will hurt them. And the point is not to fix them, but the problem itself. Sympathy, empathy, pain and drama - which are all contigent on the problem - are symbiotic to the problem. Because all attraction is lost when progress is made - when the problem is being rectified. To end the problem also ends these addictive (and destuctive) emotions that women have a fetish for. The real ambition is to reciprocate the self-depreciation - validate self pity and negative attention.

Now not all women are like this. But most have a disposition towards this. A peculiar want for a problem to nuture - not solve."

The Oracle Says ....

Wait there's hope!

But being that we are dealing with the complicated inner workings of the female mind, I must warn that this is a good news/bad news scenario.

The good news: most sane women do decide to drop the bad boy and asshole. They choose these types in hopes of claiming the grand prize of being able to say "I was the amazing woman with powers like no other. I tamed the beast and will be forever on a pedestal and the envy of all women (very important in the day to day life of a woman) that proceeded me". When the said woman began her journey to change the man before her, she slowly began to see that while all men need smoothing out around the edges, the bad boy and asshole have some irreversible chemical in-balance that won't be fixed short of intense psycho-therapy or harsh drug treatment (provided by a doctor, not by a dealer - sometimes the woman gets confused and for awhile feels that the coke/weed/speed evens him out). At this point she will decide she should scrape herself, humiliated and scarred, of the floor and move on or go another round. (Note: Many girls go multiple rounds but if it has continued for 5 or more years, she is crazy and should be avoided at all costs.)

This is where the bad news is. Almost 100% of the time, the woman stopped to evaluate her life and has realized she is in marriage mode. This guy isn't someone she's about to marry anytime soon. Within minutes of her epiphany, she can be heard telling friends, "It's over. I mean, I never thought I was going to marry this guy. I'm at an age now where I'm thinking to myself why waste my time on a guy that I'm not going to marry". This is her way of admitting defeat. We all know she was dreamt about marrying this guy but encouragement is key so everyone around her just nods and mumbles words of encouragement.

A woman may want sympathy and empathy towards her life's problems, but when it comes down to a man she wants one that can be fixed. So when a woman finally decides to move on she is looking for a nice, fixable guy (and in the female mind, there is always something for her man to improve on) to settle down with and get married. That is why you hear of many girls getting married within a year of meeting a guy everyone else was referring to as "Rebound". And being the "Nice Guy", he is happy to finally have found a girl that sees his worth, so he happily gets suckered into complying into her every wish.

One more thing - the sex with a bad boy or asshole is always amazing. Even "Nicies" have bad boy friends. Start talking, investigate, take notes. Learn how to at least be a little bad in the bedroom. This will be helpful if you ever have to help a bad-boy-loving woman friend "through a tough time".