Three Threesomes

by Mr.Tickles

Threesomes….. well .. to sum it up… they fucking rule and they suck. I have had 3 threesomes in my life. Many of you might say…” you prick” but it’s not all porn star status. You see, there is a common myth that guys will get all the pleasure in these mythical fantasies. That is the farthest thing from the truth imaginable.

I am going to lay my three stories on the line and tell you the pros and cons.

Here we go.

Threesome #1

I was 21 and hanging out at the Ship and Anchor. And of course after 8 pints of Big Rock my mouth starts talking. There was this hot blonde at the bar…. She was about 38 -40… So I start to brag about how good I am in bed, ( I still think I am) and she looks at me with “fuck eyes”. Now for those of you who don’t know what “fuck eyes” are. I beg you to go to Tequila at around 2:15…… you’ll get “fuck eyes”.

So I brazenly ask her to come home with me… and to my disbelief.. she agrees.

So we leave the ship around 2:30 and I notice there is a skinny brunette trailing her. I find out here name is Allison and she is Nadine’s best friend(yep… the blonde’s name was Nadine). So all 3 of us go back to my house and we plop on the couch. As I get up to offer everyone a drink… Nadine takes off my pants and starts to rub my cock. And not really rubbing it.. she is forcing a dead horse back to life. Sounds harsh, and it was. So all of us end up in my bedroom…. And Nadine starts to ride me. Through the whole ordeal… Allison just licked Nadines tits and laid next to us.

I later became good friends with Allison… although I never did sleep with her.

Pros: I got to get naked with 2 chicks at the same time for no apparent reason.
Cons: I was worried I probably got an STD or the HIV. (Negative on both)

Threesome #2

So I don’t want anyone to hate me for this… but I had a good period of my life where I did a lot of cocaine. Its funny.. because I look back.. and everything seemed so easy… except for the making money thing.

Well I was working at the Embassy and was super high. And of course.. when your high.. everything is easy. I outright asked these two girls who were hanging out by my bar to come home with me. And of course they did….. it really was easy.

We went back to my place and I fully nailed both of them. I was more than an asshole.. and asked them to do rails off of their ass’s and all… funny thing is… they allowed me. The worst part of all of this is… I don’t remember their names at all. Might have been Sarah or Stacey… they were both blondes though. I had so much fun that night but I think the coke had a huge influence on my feelings.

I ran into one of them last year while she was with her boyfriend… and she fully recognized me. Weirdest moment I have ever had. Imagine your worst nightmare….. but it involves a threesome with two hot blonde chicks and 2 grams of coke and some weird dude thinking your eyeing up his girlfriend. That is a NIGHTMARE.

Pros: Two Hot blondes at the same time.. they were 19 or 20 at the time… I actually rule

Cons: Cocaine sucks. It will eat all of your money and then take out a bank loan.

Threesome #3

I got out of my coke phase around 25 and started doing ecstasy. This is also the time my life I started DJ’ing. Funny thing about Ecstasy is that everything is good.  You could just have robbed 5 banks and been shot but your happy.

So I had this girlfriend of 1 year at the time.. her name was Shannon and we did lots of E. One night she had a friend in from Vancouver and we all dropped 2 pills. If you have ever done E you know that nothing really matters and there is love all around. So we started playing games and I got so hot I took off my clothes. All of a sudden Shannon and Steph were totally naked and making out. And not just kissing… there was full on 69 going on between them. I proceeded to start kissing them as well but my member just wouldn’t work. That’s one bad side effect of E, it just wont stay hard….. you have your moments….. but really no extra long moment.

So I went the whole night eating pussy and watching my girlfriend of the time get fully railed by her friend. The worst part is… the next morning they were both consoling me and saying it wasn’t my fault I couldn’t get it up.

Damn straight it was my fault….. I had two hot chicks naked eating each other out… but I was so high…. I couldn’t get it up.

Pros: I was so high that I thought my girlfriend was even more beautiful eating her friend out.
Cons:I was so high that I thought my girlfriend was even more beautiful eating her friend out.

 

So.. after all of this, I have come to one conclusion. Girls love pussy. They just need an excuse to get naked with each other and have some fun. Men are usually the excuse, because they know we are retards who will drown themselves in indulgence and forget there are two naked pussies in the room.