Quick Quotes

"madder than a bunch of drunken monkeys with a jigsaw puzzle" - sw12

"Sticks and stones may break my bones, but whips and chains excite me." - Father Ron

"well ... I prefer (to be covered with) a paper bag, it breathes better than plastic" - Annonymous girl

"If there's room for mice, there's room for sinks" - Jordan

"You had me at jello" - Dennis

"Easy sailor <on the drinking>, you have alot of open water to cover." Horny Bar Cougar

"I don't trust women that say that don't masturbate. To totally disregard it makes you ... like a robot. Or a liar. A lying robot." Annonymous

"I feed on innocence ... your daughter is almost out though, so not to worry, I'll be moving along soon." Hot Karl

"Don't hassle the Hoff." David Hasselhoff

"Whiskey dick is like a safety valve - when you've had too much, it shuts down. Possibly saving you from poor decisions. So don't drink water, it'll unsafety the safety valve. And careful with the manual release." Annonymous

Mark on the size of a woman's ... flower: "It's like when I'm swimming ... I don't care how deep it is, as long as I can still touch the sides."

"If my tattoos destroy your girl-next-door fantasy, go fuck your neighbor" Sarah

"I need a girlfriend .... or a dog." Brad

"You know somethings wrong though, when your so drunk that the bed looks better than the girl" Adam

Girl: "You wanna play some ninetendo .... and maybe make-out after?"
Kobi: "..... what games do you have?"

"Thought about giving her a dead cat. Nothing says 'I won't let you leave me' like a dead cat." Kobi

"so ... what's your favorite meat?" Tamlin

"Why are you putting Vagasil™ on your lips? .... I just figured it out. Ugh." Kobi

"hmmm, i want to eat til i bloat and die..." Jordy

"You have one option: work or don't ..... I guess that's two ... fuck." Andy

"Cooking her dinner tonight. Never fails! They only look for roofies in drinks. They don't think to check food." Larry the Big Rock Truck Driver

"surprise cock-fag, you're gay." Kobi

"How old are you? .... 23? I heard 16. Alllllright." Howard

"Ah! .... Hello Satan .... I thought I had killed you." Adam

"17? ... well I DO have a sweet-tooth for the devil's candy, but who wants a monster in the mirror?" Kobi

"Some people are like slinkies. Not really good for anything, but put a smile on your face when you push them down stairs. " 3 Kicks

Bum: You have any change?
Andy: Do you have a gun?
Bum: ... no
Andy: no.

"I'm tired of chasing my dreams ... I'll ask them where they are going and will meet with them later on." Robbie

"Do I get a ticket if I park my FIST in your FACE Mr.Parking Man?" Ross

"Hello monkey with an infra-red camera, is that roast beef sandwich for me?" Kobi

"With a light-saber ...... I'd rule the world." Guy on the couch

"I like porn. It doesn't have to be great." Parker

"Sow your wild oats, but make sure this crop doesn't grow." Curt/Rick

"I'm a spaceship superstar. With a solar powered laser beam guitar." Dan

"Love is the closest thing to a mental illness" Kobi

"I have a pornographic memory" Chris

"I'm the freshest flower in the garden" Kyle

"This is NOT a dress rehearsal!" Ruffles

"Your granny panties are sticking WAY out - it looks like your tank top fell down all the way around to your waist!" Kobi

"'E' is for Idiot" Brett

"Herpes ALWAYS gets the last laugh, doesn't it?." Kobi

"YOU don't play the dick game with ME. I play the dick game with YOU." Brett

"When it comes to morals and ethics, I choose abstinence." Pool Boy

"wulp, we should get out there .... those girls aren't going to creep themselves out you know" Anonymous

(after numerous spilled drinks and covered in rye & coke)
"..... maybe we should quit jumping" Lil Sister Rabbit

"..... I accidently got booze in my mouth." Kobi

"A friend will help you move. A really good friend will help you move a body." Wendy

"Five minutes!?? I sat for alot of five minuteses!" Baker

"I don't need to see any ID ...... you weirdos just get inside." Roadhouse Bouncer

"The more people I meet, the more I like my dog" Stark

"This is a great song .... (looks back at flashing lights) .... I'll turn it up so the cop can hear it too!" Baker

"I think that goes beyond cougar. That's borderline Gator. Like a cougar, but more leathery. And they drag you back to their home for the death roll." Dan

"All those NOT in favour of puppies and kittens and rainbows say 'I'm a dink!'" Bethany

"I'm locked in his closet .... I'm not sure what I'm sitting on .... (whimpers) .... but I don't wanna know." Mandy

"I'm a pacifist"
"Like ..... what kids suck on?"
"No, no thats a pedophile" Anonymous

"I'm fairly confident that the only thing that can conquer love ..... is robots" Kobi

"sure, 5% alcohol ... but 95% tummy ache!" Ryan

"Rye till I Die." Denny

"Dogs .... get out of my butt" Erin

Kobi says: Rye is a Caring Mother
Aaron says: ahh Mamas Milk
Kobi says: suckle Howard, suckle

"Glad to see you are finally using your powers for evil" Anonymous

"My glass has a leak in it, (takes a drink) ... see, right out the top!" Kobi

"vehicular homicide is bad." Ross

"Go Pornbot Go!!!" Kobi

"That tasted like worms smell" Kaylee

"I hope we don't have to fight tonight. I bruise like a peach." Derrick

"Just because you're easy doesn't make you pretty" Kobi

"She got big boobs?" Jeske

"You can hit me, just don't hit on me" Forbes

"I thought the "not touching myself" was going to be my biggest hurdle" Kobi

"Do NOT whip above the waist." Salima

"It's sad that girls are our age are getting fat ... they just have to quit drinking the 2% milk ... but they don't!" Anonymous

"playing the harmonica has notes where you breath in on - but it's tough. I think thats why I passed out the one night and woke up by the song book." Kyle

"Did you ever notice that girls dress up like sluts for Halloween? Not just sluts....dead sluts. You know what that means.......girls want it all the time.....even when they are dead." Matts

"I want Bugles™ ..... I'd put them on the end of my fingers .... and you know, be a witch." Kobi

"An annonymous beating never hurt anyone." Jeske

"MY REPLY IS NO" Magic 8-ball