Chickens are Unnatural

Chickens are ungodly creatures. Their cold, unblinking, beady eyes and their jerky head movements make it look like they are ready to snap at any moment. Kinda like they had too much coffee or something. And the noises that they make "bacock, baacock" always sounds like they are asking you a question. The same fucking question - over and over again.

Their bodies just aren't right either. A chicken's head is too small for it's body. Imagine what an elephant would look like with a head of a horse. We would question that - but for some reason we don't question chickens. Also, in my mind I think chickens should be recognized as having the grossest feet in the animal kingdom. Lizards have better looking feet for christ's sake! And wings that don't work? Come on, they are mutants at best.

They are the emotional equivalent to robots. Can you tell which chicken is sad? happy? suicidal? How can you trust something that even wears a poker-face while it sleeps? You can't. They even appear to be emotionally unavailable to their children.

What's really creepy is their ability to twitch and run around after their head has been cut off (hence the saying) - scarring your early childhood. I have experienced this first hand.

Children have a natural fear for them. Try and get a toddler to pet a chicken - you'll see nothing but betrayal and doom in their eyes. And who has EVER wanted a chicken as a pet? If you fell in a well, Lassie would go run to tell the farmer. Or at least be visibly upset. A chicken wouldn't. It would just peck at bugs around the well while you screamed in vain for help - pretending like it didn't hear you.

So folks, here is my advice. Fear them - they are not meant for this world.

......and eat chicken wings, we HAVE to keep their numbers down.