Gyno Halloween
Ladies and gentleman.
This update is coming to you on saturday at one o clock in the morning. Jeske and I have just returned from a pub crawl. My suggestion to you: If you ever get the chance to attend the Halloween Howler (put on by our good friends Bust Loose Vacations) - do it.
Jeske and I walked into Tantra (the bar formerly known as The Drink) in our gynocologist costumes - timid and uncertain about what would be awaiting us ...
I have never seen so many school girls, sexy cops, and nurses dirty dance with each other. If ever I get my government funding for Manland - it would look alot like tonight. Angels in stockings, nurses with their shirts open, Wonder Woman standing on her head doing the splits. yes, Wonder Woman was able to clinch the Best Costume by pulling off that manuever.
In an attempt to pace ourselves, Jeske and I hold back to 5 drinks while watching two girls dressed up as Naughty & Nice dirty dance with each and fix each others costume when their boobs started showing over their silk girdles. The school girls all got together and were dancing on the dance floor too. Jesus was there. Good show.
We load up for the next bar and we meet Speedy Gonzalez and the Ice Princess. We chat about the night while we take pulls from their rum mickey that they offer to share with us. And then we arrive at Tequilas - a place very much anticipated by Gonzalez.
Debachery and Dancing ensue. About 5 more drinks go down the hatch. Jeske and I struggle to hold ourselves back at pace. Meet a few girls dressed up as Marge, the highway (yeah), and a Killer Bee. We end up visiting with them for the bulk of our time at Tequilas. It is here that I discover a major flaw in my costume. A girl asks if I'm a doctor, and I correct her that I'm a gynocologist and point to my "#1 Gyno" button I was wearing. She smiles - then looks at my name tag. She then points out that my name tag is from the Kiddie hospital ...... so I'm a kiddy gynocologist? I quickly remove my name tag. Huge oversight.
We arrive at the Palace and another 5 drinks go down the hatch. By coincidence, run into Lyndsey from the old King's Head Pub (she used to waitress us there alot). She actually stopped us and asked us if we remember her! Awesome girl. By the way, she was wearing a nurses uniform (grrrr baby!). We talked for a bit, then started talking again to the girls we met at Tequilas.
We skip out on the bus ride to Crazy Horse and instead eat some McDonalds with the girls from Tequila. I end up spending most of the time giving them relationship advice. Like when a guy just wants sex, or when he won't phone you again. After a half hour of question period, they thank me for answering all their questions. And we start our journey to the Back Alley. Oh, these girls were 30 year olds, but anyways.
At the Back Alley - only a 3 drinks were to be had. I've spent all my money, but I have a secret stash in my sock. Time to pull out the emergency fund. A couple girls pull us onto the dance floor and one is trying to set me up with a women that looks possibly 45. I make signs for Jeske to hurry and finish his drink and for us to fuck off.
Not wanting the night to end just yet - we take a cab to Cowboys. Cowboys was interesting. By now, I've switched to beer and use the bottle to keep my head up when I'm sitting at the table. Meet this one girl who asks me to dance. I try to two-step but she pulls me in close and asks if this is alright instead. While we're dancing she tries to start kissing me - but while she's moving in (and I'm pulling away), she's so drunk she ends up accidentily pouring her drink down the back of my neck. She apologizes profusely and the song thankfully ends for me. I now smell like a bacardi cooler.
Another girl comes up while Jeske and I are sitting at a table and tells me I'm hot. I tell her thanks and rest my head back on my beer bottle. End up running into her and her friend later on while Jeske and I were walking around the bar. They were both holding each other up and both see me. They v-line to me and start hugging me and kissing me. but they are so drunk that they are pushing me thru chairs and almost knock over a table while I'm reeling backwards. We knock over a few drinks and the one girl gets escorted out of the bar. After they leave - the guys cheer and I get a few high fives.
We dance with a few other girls, but Jeske is winding down. So we call it a night and walk back to our apartment while I sing Karma Chameleon the whole way back. We grab some pizza along the way. I now have no money. End Scene.