The Entrance Exam

Well, we have a winner!

After a stringent application process, it looks like Tamlin has received approval to be my girlfriend!

 

Now the process was not easy. it involved a drinking proficiency test - where Tamlin had to sit at the kitchen table and drink whiskey with my family. She initially struggled and earned herself a taunting song:

"Tammmmmlin, the sucky caaalllf,

Tammmmlin, she drinks just haaallllf"

But was able to recover and came over-the-top to clinch a passing mark. BARELY a passing mark.

Then came the next event. The Kobi-Sandwich. It's essentially a humor test. My younger sister and I yell "KOBI-SANDWICH!!" and then ping-pong someone between us. I didn't say it was classy. But it definately shows character of the poor soul getting humped from both sides. Tamlin was a little confused and spooked, but didn't run away. Another passing mark.

And then the Entrance Exam which Tamlin aced! Check it out below:

 

1) Sex is:
a) Basically how I say 'hi' to strangers
b) How I'm FINALLY going to get my baby
c) My career
d) A private thing!
e) How the demons get in my pants  

2) I have an interest in Kent because ...
a) He can fit thru a coat hanger
b) Rumors are he is well-hung
c) His sister is hot
d) I just got dumped and need a pacifer for all my insecurities
e) He makes me laugh and we love to hang out  

3) Intelligence is:
a) Really tough to spell
b) Only for men
c) What I'm going to use to keep Kent in line!
d) Isn't that a really old gaming console? e) Only for women  

4) Family is:
a) Very important! Kent better feel the same.
b) An obstacle - I will have the little shits liquidated.
c) How I line up my next boyfriend - Kent have any brothers?
d) Worship them. Kent must bow down to my family.
e) A tv channel  

5) A poorly flushing toilet is:
a) Absolutely revolting
b) A little disgusting, a little embarassing at times, but do-able
c) My favorite
d) Easy if you hold down the handle down the whole time
e) a novelty, usually I just shit my pants  

6) Kent shows up drunk at home, I:
a) Get back at him by sleeping with an entire hockey team
b) Cry .... because whenever I face adversity I cry
c) do too. Because I was out with him!
d) Phone my mom.
e) Poop in his pillow case and let him go to bed. That will teach him!  

7) If you were abroad, you would:
a) I am NOT a broad!
b) Experience the culture and welcome every adventure
c) Travel to West Edmonton Mall and go SHOPPING!
d) I would rather stay home ... Days of Our Lives is coming on soon e) Screw any guy wearing a backpack  

8) Kent's Dad pours you a rye & coke that is WAY too stiff, you:
a) Chug it, grab his crotch, bite his ear, and tell him to pour another
b) Sneak in a little mix - you're not a cowboy, but don't want to be rude
c) Give it to Kent - hoping he'll pass out because his stories are stupid
d) Pour it on his mom - you hate that bitch e) Cry  

9) Sports are:
a) The biggest waste of time
b) A type of bra one wears to yoga class to pick up the male instructor
c) An awesome opportunity to spend time with family & friends and get a little exercise
d) A way to show my domination - you'll ALL be my bitches!
e) A cross between spandex and shorts?  

10) People would describe me as:
a) Sweet and fun
b) A princess
c) Her .... yeah ... umn .... she's nice
d) A hammer thrower
e) A cock gobbler. GOBBLE, GOBBLE, GOBBLE!  

11) Under what circumstances would you eat a live kitten?
a) peer pressure - tell me to smoke and I will
b) any time
c) That's gross! But maybe if it'd save a building full of orphans from a fiery death
d) If it gave me a discount on my groceries
e) can it be a dead cat?  

12) Kent hugs Katie, she must be:
a) A good friend of his
b) A slut attempting to ruin your life and everything it stands for
c) Kent 's true love for which his heart has been yearning for since their eyes first met
d) Another one of Kent's whores he diddles on the side
e) whose Kent?