Week of Creep: The True Stories

Tamlin from Calgary says:

Be very cautious about wearing a skirt to a bar.

My friend and I were wondering around the bar and there was this one gross guy that we had to walk by a few times. Everytime we passed him he would smack my ass and whisper some creepy comment in my ear. I responded by glearing and swearing at him, asking him what the hell he thought he was doing. He seemed to like my 'screw off' comments as he would just snicker and get a creepy smile on his face. We left in disgust and decided that we needed to just steer clear of this creep.

Somehow he still managed to be lurking at the edge of the path we were trying to make through the crowd of people. After a few more smacks on the ass, and continually more angry and pissed off comments coming from my mouth, we thought he couldn't get any creepier. Wrong.

The last time I walked by him that night he one-upped his ass smacks by putting his hand right up my skirt!

So I punched him. Nice one creep. Didn't see him after that.

Krista from Calgary says:

hey, i thought of my creepy story. it involves some creepy drunk guy that proposed to me with a hair elastic, then sold me to a bum (to dance with), then proposed to another girl 5 min later and asked me to come home with him to watch little mermaid.
*editors note: she's talking about me. And since I didn't receive any money from the bum - I technically didn't 'sell'. I 'donated'.*
**side note: and the Little Mermaid is a fucking great show.**

Sarah from Red Deer says:

creepiest pick up line ever: "I just want to pet it; and I'll be gentle" - courtesy of a dude standing in the bar in his sock feet

Jill from Calgary says:

This happened a few years ago, while I was at a different company. I have to say that because it involves the CEO of the company, and I don’t want anyone to think it’s my current CEO, who’s a very nice guy.

Anyway, it was at our Stampede party which was held at a popular country bar and involved unlimited free booze. I was a bit tipsy, but not really messed up. My CEO didn’t seem too drunk, but he was really flirting with me. I was being friendly back, but keeping things light and trying to steer the conversation away from the gutter as best I could. I didn’t want it to seem like I was rejecting him flat out, but I wanted to be clear that I wasn’t interested since he was the boss of my boss, married, and not attractive at all. He started getting a little more personal, so I tried to talk to someone else, but he started following me around. I had a band-aid on my arm, and he pulled it off and stuck it, for reasons unknown, on my crotch, just below the zipper of my jeans. I said whoa there, and pulled it off but it was really hot so the band-aid adhesive had melted and it left a bunch of goo on my pants. He apologized and offered to lick it off. Let me say that this was right in front of most of the company, some of whom were looking a bit appalled, not to mention the thousand other people in the bar. Then I really wanted to get away, so I said I had to go to the bathroom, and walked off.

He caught up with me and point blank asked me if I wanted to have an affair with him. I said, “No way, you’re married!” and he said, “That’s okay, we don’t have to have sex, just, you know (sticks out his tongue and wags it at me) Monica Lewinsky sex.” I said forget it and spent the rest of the party avoiding him.

Coby from Calgary says:

while waitressing at the heritage...a guy came over from the lounge for the salad bar....and he said....damn if i knew you were working in here i would have ate my dinner in here.....do you want my number? lemme think ummmmm noooooo!!

Janelle from Calgary says:

I was once given mix tapes from a guy and after thanking him and giving him a hug I realized that they were titled the "Love Doesn't Suck Mix". He then proceded to send me mail, wierd stuff like collages. He also tracked me down on campus and was waiting for me outside one of my classes - he had a latte for me made with soy milk. I had to eventually tell him to fuck off.

Alison from Calgary says:

My mom's next door neighbour had her brother visiting from Russia. When I was at my mom's house outside on a lovely summer day, he approached me (never met him prior to this) and asked if he could take me into Kananaskis country, smoke marijuana with me then do unmentionable things to me. Maybe in Russia that means "I'd like to take you to the show and have a nice evening." Or it could mean exactly what he said. Either way, that was the creepiest thing a guy has ever said to me. Needless to say, I haven't seen or spoken to him since.

Jill from Calgary says:

I had a boyfriend that I had given the keys to my apartment to. After a big fight, we split up and I asked for them back. By “asked for them back” I mean I chased him out to his car and pounded on the window and wouldn’t let him back out of the parking spot until he returned them. (That’s not at all creepy of ME, by the way.) Anyhow, he came over a few days later to do the post-breakup exchange of stuff (he still has my Pixies t-shirt, bastard). He saw the keys on my desk and pocketed them without me noticing. A few days later he then decided to pop by at 2 am to see if I was sleeping alone. I was. Then I had sex with him. But just because I’m a weak-willed idiot doesn’t mean he’s not a creep!

Serenity from Calgary says:

ok so a few years ago I was working at the Fringe Festival up in Edmonton... me along with another small group who actually got paid to be there. Included in this group (mostly made up of techies, designers, and office staff) was a lighting technician named Doug who was 35 years old at the time but because of years sittin under hot stage lights being cooked like a McDonalds fry for twelve hours, he looked about 50.. elch, considering I was 21 at the time.. this was pretty creepy all on it's own the fact that he hung out with our group.
 
So closing nite of the Festival we all get together for one last nite of debauchery before seeing everyone til the next year. Granted everyone was getting boozy that nite and pretty positive there was some herbal remedies being passed around so I can't really blame Doug for trying.
 
He started off hitting on some random girls at the party, just makin the rounds and obviously had some more and more rounds of rye and coke when he finally reached me. As I saw this guy coming towards me, doing his very best John Wayne swagger, (he looked more to me like an old acid head trying to dodge little pink bunnies that seemed to be getting in is way) I was starting to look around me for some back up assistance or at least somewhere to hide. then I thought "Damn! why of all nites did I forget my pink bunny suit? he prolly woulda just bumped me aside like some pinball in a machine." Alas I was a maiden without a knight and had to face my Troll.
 
So the conversation started off ok... 
"hi" she said.
"heeeeey.." he said.
"are you having fun?" she says reaching to god to think of anything to say that wouldn't be to rude.
"<nonsensical mumbling>" he says
 
at this point I am starting to figure that I'm definitely not the hot stripper type that he thought he saw when he started walking over to me and that he will just start talking to himself and I could have faded to black or at least stood very still so he would only sniff me and maybe stumble away. well this wouldn't be a creepy story if he had done that, no!  The next thing that this guy chooses to say to me is really what any woman want to hear... at the right time and place of course. I shall continue...
 
"haaay, y'know what?" he says leaning in closer. so close in fact that I get a great whiff of liquor, pot and a little puke on his breath
"what's that?" I say stepping back a wee bit.
"yer f-f-f-f<insert what sounded to be like puke gurgling in his mouth noise>aaakin beeeautiful!" he says (oh pitter patter! I think I am in love!!)
 
At this point I have no idea what to say.. should I be flattered that he thinks I'm beautiful? should I be relived that he didn't actually puke all over me? should I be a real woman and start telling him to take out the trash and quit snoring? well the last one may have just been wishful thinking on his part. 
 
No, I take the high road and thank him and say "wow look at the time! I'm really flattered but I really should be going home"
 
Apparently he took this as "My god have we been talking all nite? you are the most interesting man I have ever met!  I really want to get outta here with you."
 
So he shuffles me to my car and as I was getting in he was really laying on the charm.
 
"so.. " he says pushing what looked like a piece of dirt on the ground with his foot, but actually turned out to be a piece of dog poo.
At this point he pulls out one of his business cards, hands it to me and says...
 
"Look, I am totally in ruv witchoo... call me... please?"
 
AWWWWWWWWW ain't that the sweetest pick up evar? Drunk, old and desperate! needless to say I have avoided the guy ever since.. or who knows maybe he thought I was the creepy one... ah I'll never know yet I will always think of that nite as the first nite a man said he loved me....

More stories to come tomorrow

Erin from Delia says:

So, one night at the bar, this one guy (for this article we will call him Nairb) I knew from college, decides that he is kinda sweet on me. I am terribly flattered but visibly not interested. He is so inniberated he can barely stand...so suprise, suprise, he choses a seat beside me. He reaks like rye and smoke and I can barely decipher his drunken slurs of affection...while taking the time to really concentrate on verbalizing his next pick-up line(which for the record, were working wonders) he falls off the bar stool and slams his face on the table. All the drinks on the table go flying and Nairb is lying on the ground moaning and flailing in a pool of spilled drinks. Unfortunately, before I could escape, he decides to use my pant leg to help him up. Once he is in a fully verticle position (which takes a few minutes, as he is slipping and slidding on the drenched floor) he smiles and I notice he chipped his front tooth. I comment on the fact and he slides in a quick, "See babe, I am falling to pieces without you!" Wow, Nairb, stop talking, you had me at "hello" or should I say, "shhheello".

Anyway, I can't get this creep off me and I decide to bail and go back to rez. He follows me out of the bar and throws himself on the back of my car. I am getting absolutely fed up with this freak and I start yelling at this asshole to screw off. He ignores my dramatics and continues to tell me how wonderful I am. I finally jump in my car and drive off with Nairb on the trunk...he luckily finally falls off. Once I get home, I start telling my room mates about Nairb and what an idiot he was...but then we see him running through rez towards our house. So we quickly lock the door and shut off the lights. Nairb runs right into the door and we hear a pathetic moan, but no one says a word. We decide we should just slink off to bed and talk in the morning. Just as I was sliding into bed I hear something hit my window...I immediately know who it is...MY GOD, who the hell is this guy! Anyway I ignore it for awhile and then I open the window and tell him to piss off. He threatens to start throwing bigger stuff at my window if I don't let him in. I just shut the window and go back to bed. Then I hear a big clang, clang on my window...this asshole started throwing his keys at my window. Convinced he was going to break my window, I agree to open the door for 1 MINUTE! Anyway, I walk downstairs and open the door and Nairb gives me a dead, beaten rose that he found on the floor of Billy Bob's! HOW SWEET!

Anyway, for the record...this is how I first "got hitched" with my boyfriend! Love You Babe

San from Calgary (our only male response with a creep story) says:

I was at a Red Hot Chilli Peppers concert with a couple of my buddies. We were standing and cheering when I feel a brush on my leg .... look over and there's these two guys sitting there. And one is looking like a cat who just ate a canary.

Don't think much of it. And go back to paying attention to the concert. This time I feel a brush on my leg that reaches close to my ass. Shoot the guy a look that is sitting down and tell him to fucking cut it out.

Go back to listening when I feel a full-on ass grab. I turn around and the guy still has ahold of my ass! My buddy flips and tells the guy to FUCK OFF!

His friend then comes over shortly after and apologizes for his friend. Cool so I go back to listening to the concert .... when I feel a soft ass-grab ...

His buddy is now grabbing my ass.