Dialysis Graduate!

R2-D2 meet Ali, Ali meet R2-D2. ("You had me at *beep*)

Today we learned more about the dialysis machine and the possible alarms it will raise. There's no tricking this machine, it's wiley like the coyote! It also sounds like a cross between an aquarium and Darth Vader on lithium trying to be quiet. The Care Bear of Computers.

Ali's choice in implants startled even the doctors ;)

A slave to sexual-reference jokes, I had to remark that the solution bags looked like Pamela Anderson implants. Had serious thoughts of rubbing my face in betweeen the two bags to see what it'd feel like.

"Hook it to my veins!" was not extreme enough for Ali. No, her vodka need was intense.

Ali practiced manual dialysis again today. Also recieved her Hepatitas-C vaccine. Florin said it was because Ali would be at a slightly higher risk being around hospitals and medical procedures. But we all know it's because Ali's heavy drug addiction and use of whores ;) Rock and Roll baby.

Florin gave her the vaccine - and it was funny/brutal. It was kinda like "PUNCH BUGGY! Here's your vaccine". If Florin had a taste for theatrics, he should have jumped from the top of the chair, letting out an arab war cry, plunging the needle into Ali with two fists. Ali commented that the vaccine might not work, considering the needle went right thru her arm.

R2-D2 (the dialysis machine) sounds like a very friendly and shy Darth Vader

Like watching a McGyver episode, Ali patiently pieced R2-D2 together. Lord help us if it ever decides to turn on us.

Had a meeting with a dietician. She asked Ali if she "thought she could do that?". It was comical as the questions were like, can you drink a glass of juice? Ali felt it was in her realm of capabilities.

Ali receiving her coveted Dialysis Certificate!!!!

Tadaa!! All finished with training! Everyone who helped Ali was awesome and earn a very grateful thank-you. Especially to Florin.

A sincere and heartfelt hats off to all of the staff.

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Quick Quotes

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"If there's room for mice, there's room for sinks" - Jordan

"You had me at jello" - Dennis

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"I don't trust women that say that don't masturbate. To totally disregard it makes you ... like a robot. Or a liar. A lying robot." Annonymous

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Bum: You have any change?
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"I'm tired of chasing my dreams ... I'll ask them where they are going and will meet with them later on." Robbie

"Do I get a ticket if I park my FIST in your FACE Mr.Parking Man?" Ross

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"This is NOT a dress rehearsal!" Ruffles

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